Monday, April 4, 2011

Not quite secondary

(based on suggestions from @GretasTARDIS, @Skippy_2, @tiggyjohnson, @simmonehowell, @ernmalleyscat and @realnixwilliams)

She saw herself through looking glass

the room moved into another year.

Girl was a woman was a catburgler of days

nicked in stealth like shaving cuts.

How she’s grown. Shocked a ball with

bash of a club and run round bases

arms in the air when she hit fourth.

There’s no greater sport than teenagers.

Suddenly handstands at lunchtime

were forbidden. Sitting prescribed

footsteps scripted like dancing ponies.

She missed her doll house in a fig tree.

High school is utterly without magic.

She dragged a new body to freezing portables

hugged back tears at novels read aloud

kept her secret love and hid them safe.

When she leapt up fresh-limbed at 3am

the mirror stayed still, insisted

dark mornings were still night.

So she flamed up little lanterns. Lots of them.


Today's poem is based on suggestions from six peeps:

  • @GretasTARDIS: “PONIES”
  • @Skippy_2: “The me in the mirror didn't move when I did.”
  • @tiggyjohnson: “ hitting your first home run”
  • @simmonehowell: “catburglers! that uncomfortable three a.m, an hour utterly without magic ...”
  • @ernamalleyscat: “a house in a fig tree”
  • @realnixwilliams: “little lanterns. lots of them”

I don't know if everyone experiences some version of this, but going from primary school to high school was rather a shock to my system. I was in no hurry to grow up. I was quite happy to keep being a kid for a few more years, regardless of what my body decided to do. But suddenly it was frowned upon to be running around and being enthusiastic and doing cartwheels at lunchtime, and there was definitely no more admitting I still played with dolls. Everyone was all sitting down and talking about things I didn't really give a shit about (boys, clothes, parties, boys). I hid my adoration for the novels we read in class (but saved it for close friends and a few magical teachers).

The only thing that didn't change was I never thought I was wrong about what I felt and wanted. So I sat tight, clung to my couple of close friends (who are still my close friends) waited it out, moved to Melbourne for uni at 18. And then I found, and am still finding, people just like me.


ern malleys cat said...

I love 'hugged back tears'.

simmone said...


Anna said...

Thanks guys :)

mademoiselle délicieuse said...

Agreed! Moving from Hong Kong back to Sydney proved the biggest challenge for me - I went from an environment where everyone else was displaced in some way or other like myself, to having no idea where I fit in at all. So I hid those bits of myself and made myself fit as best I could. I was never really myself until I got to uni too =)