Sunday, March 20, 2011


(*Swears warning* Based on suggestions from @matchtrick, @realnixwilliams, @timsterne and Mark)

Sharp tattoo along with lunch

deserves a double n with Aryan punch

Fushigi yuugi, narwhal sushi

Shorty is ace of abased, with muesli

Nothing to add or ever replace it:

fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, I quit.

Bring it on fast like a whale on a moped

Fling it on past like a meal to a dopehead

Teenage dreams too hard to beat

strings out sweet collect the street

drive your knee in neat to fiddle

corset laces tight in the middle

heave it tight try not to meddle.

Careful backwards peddle of interviews –

morning spews erupt in stations,

beckon and breed their own creations; cretins.

Volunteer for the upgrade programme

heft a helical tusk in a log jam

already donated to Oxfam, yes ma’am.

Prick up your dog years

smooth your dog-eared pages

how long’s it take to validate your wages?

Ages. I saw dasein and it opened up

a being in time today

Bring on the monodontidae:

see the water’s surface --

the new day.


Today's poem is based on suggestions from four peeps (but 6 suggestions overall as @matchtrick made 3):

  • @matchtrick: “Narwhals! Things with horns! Like mopeds! A narwhal on a moped! Wheee!"
  • @matchtrick: “What rhymes with narwhal? Feargal? Could you slip a Feargal Sharkey reference in please?” (see 3rd line of second stanza)
  • @realnixwiliams: “corsetry”
  • @timsterne: “Ace of base” (not strictly a suggestion, but I couldn’t resist. Also his last job is great poem fodder.)
  • Mark: "Can I please request that your next poem includes a punn on your nname although the difference is only one 'n'. An Aryan Punch."
And it's a hip hop poem, because I got another awesome mixtape recently, and I was listening to it as I wrote this. There may be a few Doctor Who references in there somewhere. Narwhals are monodontidae. And @TheEndeavour has hefted one of their tusks!


nixwilliams said...

already donated to Oxfam, yes ma’am.

for some reason this is the line that really jumped out at me!

Anna said...

That's kinda cool, as it was an after-thought insertion, not part of the original writing.

Mark D Osborne said...

"f you f you I quit" reminded me of the pinnacle of my poetic obscenity: Fear F*** Breed: